i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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