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Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
