We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
