erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
