DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
