Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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