This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
