dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
