Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
