Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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