You're completely useless in the revolution.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Actions speak louder than pants.
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The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
