the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
