I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
