Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
