he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
