Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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