Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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