The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
