the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
