You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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