I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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