So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
