i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
