yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
