So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
