im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
