weddingsv make me drug and hornr
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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