The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
