In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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