one two three fourrrrnication!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
