I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
