so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
