he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
