sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
