who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
