We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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