i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
