Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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