How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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