I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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