There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
