Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
