Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
