our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
