i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
