please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
