my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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