my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
