Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
