i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
